Better than yesterday, but I can't wait to die.

Because apparently, people that I thought were friends are instead arguing that dying in the streets is ok.

I can't wait to die.

I fell asleep with my eyes hurting whether they were open or closed. I was "lucky" I was even able to fall asleep, and I woke up feeling better except for how atrocious humans are. I can't believe someone saved my life just so that I could get tortured in a hospital and told to die in the streets. Just get out of my face. I hate being alive.

Day one AoT

I finished the first project no problem!!! Day 2 promises to be very challenging, I'm not that great at open triangle twists, so I feel uncertain I'll be able to complete it, but I will try. Somehow, I will feel like if I can complete tomorrow's project, I might be able to finish all of them, but it will probably still feel slightly doubtful until the end even. Worse case scenario, I don't finish everything on time, no big deal!

NDY.

Passage of 時間

I'm a little sad that 2024 is ending. There's been goods and bads about this year. Lots of adventure, lots of learning, lots of exercise, more than a month in the hospital.

It already feels like 2025 to me, and I have no idea why. It's like I'm already living in the future.

For several months now, I just feel like I'm running on bonus time. Like I've already done enough for the year, and somehow, I miraculously still have time to do more!

This month is so exciting for the projects to work on.

Next year is sort of filled with mystery. Sometimes I feel ripped off from "regular living" due to how I was raised, and other days, I wonder if I gained something from it. I definitely feel very sorry for a few people that are not myself.

It is true that I'm a major fan of adventure, but sometimes I worry that I will end up investing myself too heavily in it. One day, a group of individuals will get on a craft, and never return to the planet Earth. --at least maybe not for a very long time? lol.

If ever, does it really exist.

I try to ground myself, but keep getting uprooted. I do like the adventure, but dang.

So much of what to come seems like it could be so predictable, and I try to stave it off as best I possibly can.

Ah some of it I embrace, but there are elements that are just so frustrating.

NDY.

Not the worst day.

Definitely better than the past few. My neck had some very swollen and painful lumps in it, I have no idea what is being faught off. I tried searching the internet about it, it recommended to see a doctor if persists for 2 weeks... if you were in that much pain and weren't me, you would've sought immediate medical attention. I had bits of a fever, and general sinus headache issues. I wanted the internet to give me a name for what I had, the only thing it recommended was "upper respiratory infection". One night, my breathing was definitely not pleasant, but over all, I would not call what I had as that. Ah well. It's mostly better, just a bit of lingering pain.