sennashi_dorei

Sometimes I just pretend that people like me enough to pretend that it is true. I am so tired, no one likes sick people.

Is what I want to write, and some things are. I hate making my social media a place where people can laugh at me getting my face shoved in the ground, so I'll try to avoid that, but seriously: this species is horrible. I have no idea what is wrong with everyone.

The good news is, the trees are beautiful, and would you believe: I never deal with hay fever? lol true! I used to tell people that I got Fal allergies, just to be unique, and maybe I made it true, I have no idea. But Spring is always great, and I actually love the Winter too, thanks to ice skating currently. So there are some good things at least.

AoT is simply amazing. I could pretend to have jealousy of the teacher in the series, because she is around my age and acting as my teacher, which means her folding techniques are greater than mine, but the truth is, I have no jealousy there. She said in one video, that she has been folding her entire life, and I have no idea how true that is, but I basically feel glad that it is not me. Like, in some ways, that is suuuuper cool... like, you go to school, and everyone learns how to write, so anyone acn say Ï've been writing my whole life." Nothing wrong with that!! Origami is that kind of thing especially we are taught, in relation to Japan... but it doesn't need to be that specific.. everyone plays with giftwrap! Anyway.. if I had been someone that folded my whole life.. Well, I chose origami as a major passtime when I was leaving Japan. At that point, I was already folding sometimes, while living there... but.. it was not the entirety of my existence like it feels like, these days... I have this... study Japanese language, and then take on origami... as a pattern for how I did that, and I love looking back on that, in that way, it makes me happy that I am not her, and that I can consider her my teacher, even though we are around the same age!

I am going to be a little sad when I finish everything.. currently, I have about 80 pieces done, so, really nearing the end here. She might have new content come out around December, that will be awesome if she does it... I guess she is just that much more advanced than me: funny story, I have not UPLOADED a SINGLE origami instructional video yet. I have taken one or two, but have not uploaded them. So behind the times lol. There may actually be people that don't believe that I do origami because I have no teaching videos, even though I apply to teach origami in the school system!!

Health is basically amazing right now. I am doing better than I have been for years now. My pain levels are just doooown, so cool. Currently, my back is upset because I am sitting down and not laying down. I decided to make the effort to sit down for a while this morning because I often spend several hours laying down every day. My modes are pretty much WALKING, trying to run a little bit, which never goes anywhere, lots of laying down, and I do make efforts to sit down, but I try not to torture myself out of it. Like if you think about it: mechanics lay down underneath vehicles, so I don't need my upward position to describe myself as doing something...

When I got my first full time job, I was already post heart surgery.. that's 40 hrs a week, but my company was nice, it was still close though, and I had no idea at all if it was going to be possible for me to sit down for almsot 40 hours a week.. I was scared and anxious... I said: "I will try this out, but I don't know what will happen." And it went fine!! Great even!! I had something to look forward to every day, because I would change position to sitting down for like 8 hours a day, and I was really doing that, and I felt OK doing it. It was unbelievable. Then after work, somehow, I still had energy, and would go out bicycling. I could not believe what post heart surgery life was. You get heart surgery, and you think your life is over, but it is not. I still enjoy laying down a lot. I don't force myself to hurt myself, but I do make efforts at doing different things.

Coffee shop weekend! Sorta wanted to do the arcade, but maybe another time.

19k steps in today and still have energy!! Well, it is a little awkward. 15k I was uncomfortable and felt like I needed more exercise, so I went out again. Now I feel like I can rest comfortably, but I also feel like I could do more. Opting to save energy for the weekend.

Trying to keep up with reading, but when it comes to writing, who knows why I like this platform so much. I feel like I am living out the Internet "trail of tears". Basically, I find a website, and carve out some time in being there. Like you might go to multiple shops in a day, I try to go to multiple websites.. and if I find a social media platform, often it doesn't go that great sometimes. I don't know why they think giving a bad user experience is supposed to be good? Like, this is the awkward part right, because users supply the content, so suddenly quality of content falls onto the users, and then you might watch social media failing for how it connects people. Like, what does this mean for me as a heart surgery recipient? No such thing as quality anything, my life is a bunch of pain and complaints. I do what I can to provide useful, good, and enjoyable content, but I deserve to have my complaints, it doesn't even just help me: my problems solved can mean other peoples' problems solved too, but I think the average human alive doesn't get close enough to people with heart disease regularly enough for anything like that to settle in. So, that's a good thing, because less heart disease= better for everyone.. but unfortunately, leaves me in my isolated little corner of horror. Really struggling about it. Have a great day everyone, I have no idea how DW is so great with　全て。 元気でね、皆さん！

I did what I could to have a nice day. Last night I had worst issues than Tonight, I am so exhausted from regular harassment. I am having a horrible time being alive pretty much. I finished my origami piece and gave it to the art store, then I made another copy. Did another ball of yarn crocheting, not coming out perfectly. Could redo it, but might just stick with it. Chest feels so so. SUUUUUUUUUPER light discomfort: still waaaaaay better than last year, but I guess just waiting to get bad again. Argh.

Today's osechi was pretty cool!!!

Sunday, funday! Mom and I went to the store together, super fun! Origami is going great. Enveloped is so beautiful. It has less twists than Andromeda: wow it was sooooo much fun. I am super excited to finish 2025, there are many projects that have a few difficult points, but those difficulties will absolutely make them fun. I suspect that I will be done the entire series by the end of April at latest. For all I know, some hiccup will happen that changes that, but assuming that everything goes 順調, then 問題無し！

Basically just not having the best time being alive. I had 2 days in a row of not feeling well, and today I am finally feeling better and it still isn't going well. I am excited to go for a long walk today while tryyyyying to convince myself that my mom is on my side, and finding it impossible. I keep saying to myself: "she is my mom, she has to be on my side!" And I cannot make it stick. I am struggling with my standard blood pressure issues even though I had a very nice morning making a few efforts to enjoy Saturday. I am tired of my bad health.

Funny note of the day: there is an arcade that I enjoy sometimes, but today, going for a walk absolutely sounds more fun than the arcade. Somehow, I actually became an outdoorsy kind of person: I DEFINITELY did not expect that when I was little lol.