sennashi_dorei

Ok, so I'll spend a little bit talking about pain and malease. Unfortunately, my right shoulder flared a little while I was walking today. First time of this year, sigh. I walked about 2 miles today, it went mostly ok, the shoulder, ankle and lower back had some pain, but all very low grade. My bigger complaint of the day also isn't a big complaint? I have this weird malease sometimes, I think it's a side effect of the new meds, because I haven't had this kind of discomfort before taking them, and given how much better I am doing on the whole, it's not really a huge issue. It's not my chest at all, it's like my whole body is kind of JUST SLIGHTLY off. But... you know that thing where you look at a picture, and one little thing is maybe somewhat out of place.. maybe you can't even place what it is, or you have no way to fix it.. it's jsut that one little off thing, it's like that. So, before meds, sleep was very give or take for a while, and now sleep is mostly going better. I am just slightly one of those: "even if you get 8 hrs of sleep, you still feel tired" kind of people, but it's not really extreme. There are ways in which I can remember what I felt like in my early 20s, post heart surgery... and tbh: i feel better, and am doing better than I thought I would be. I thought I would have a second heart surgery by now, and I felt like there was only so much I was going to be able to recover, and I feel like I am doing waaaay better than I anticipated! The past 2-3 yrs took the downturn swing that I was expecting... but meeting with doctors has found me some resolution.

I'm curious what's going to happen on the mental illness/health front, like the entire system I guess I am thinking about. There are ways where I feel like this is a phase being set up for me, where I have to do something like graduate, that is my hope about it. Do we have people that are randomly going to be hospitalized on and off for an entire life time? Argh, I hope not, and it scares me. But there is that: "what is sick?" "How well can someone get?" "What things get forgiven, or what things get better?" I have gone more than a year without being hospitalized more than once since my first hospitalization. So, it's very confusing. I hope there's some sort of graduation "this has to stop" kind of thing, because it is annoying getting literally captured and detained. Last year, I was hospitalized 3 times, and all three times were voluntary, but one or two times in particular were pretty horrible, the circumstances surrounding. I am trying to simply be ok... and it doesn't always work for me.

Then I did some origami: AoT 2022. I wanted to finish the final 5 pieces today, but I don't have enough energy to do that much I think. I didn't even have 5 readied grids.. so I was able to finish getting all the grids prepared, and then I did two projects, so probably tomorrow or the next day, I should have the first 2 years worth of projects finished! Everything after that is on 24x.. I have a few of those grids prepared and ready to go, still need to do a lot more though.

Going to do more yarn work too, cool.

Did not go ice skating this weekend, not sure if I will do anymore this season or not.

I made it back, and had a new paper cutter that I tried out, and now I have a 32x, almost 64x hexagonal grid. I am tired after folding that much, but it was nice. This is my second 64x grid that I am making.

Chest has felt nearly perfect for most of the day, some "light afib" while visiting in standard ways today. Currently, chest has zero complaints, and instead I am reeeaaally tired: top heavy, don't feel like calling it mental, because I get so annoyed by people calling me mentally ill after everything that has happened to my chest: it is too disrespectful to deal with. I wouldn't even fully describe it as a headache, it's just exhaustion, top heavy exhaustion. Everyone that keeps calling me mental should go back to grade school for manners, I'm tired of the constant bullying and darwinism.

I did a few more AOT pieces yesterday, all 2022.. I am almost finished that year also, which means going up to the 24x grids, but I already have 10 of those done also!! So, I think I will have the set finished by March, maybe April at lastest!!

pic 2

pic 3

pic 4

I am obviously just showing off, but I figured people might like to see them!! About a week of work: not bad! Enjoy.

I did AoT d'22, yr2023... it is... so so. Did not come out perfect, which is odd, because I have definitely done great on trapezoids before.. but it's not that odd, because i know that this particular grid was not that great. Some of my pieces, you can look at, and say: "ah yes, that piece has the mark of the disabled."...but not ALL of them. woo woo. And in fact, most of these pieces, I have only done a single time, so it's not even like my disability is showing up after tons practice, I can sometimes make pieces look perfect on the very first try, yaaaay.