Worst nightmare reality

In my 20s, I came up with all these ideas for what I thought a worst case scenario for my life would be based on the experience that I had thus far, and unfortunately they've pretty much all come true. Now I guess one could say that there is an essence where a worst case scenario might be things going completely off rail like a car accident
and were left paralyzed.. awkwardly enough I tend to think that some members of the paralyzed community may actually have some parts of life easier than me, because they are dealing with no pains since I assume paralysis would knock out the nervous system.. apple and orange. I'm just being asked to live with pain way too regularly. And beyond the pain, the social situation is unbelievable. I'm embarrassed to be a human. I'm basically ashamed to be alive at all for how terrible life is. Things used to be good in my twenties, why did so many people make so many efforts.. I say so many people and maybe I just mean a few, but it's like there's no such thing as community or society at all.