sennashi_dorei

Things are not too bad right now, mostly just boring more than anything. I have found a routine of a few things to do that make me happy, so that's great. I am sleeping better than I ever remember in some ways. My health feels mostly fine, I bet you are surprised to hear that one, I usually am too when it is the case.

I am searching for adrenaline, excitement. I signed up to go ice skating, which I don't really know if I will actually do, it does sound like it could be fun, but it does not really sound like adrenaline.

I look back on all these weird hospital escapades, and I don't know what to do. Like I said, last year was my most ethical dealings with healthcare in years now, and I am definitely glad about that, but there are still issues: mostly seeing the police everywhere, and as I mentioned, they have arrested me twice now and I am not a criminal, so I not only have no trust for them, but there's a lot of just: "why?" Seeing police cars doesn't give me adrenaline, doesn't give me what I'm looking for, it just makes me scared that they are going to attack me again. And there are people in the neighborhood with guns, mostly at the grocery stores, which is a whole lot of "what the hell?" and also not what I am looking for when I say I am looking for adrenaline. I am looking for healthy exercise that is exciting? I think for some people, that is running? I just can't put that on my body. I'm not really seeing any solutions here.