sigh.

[sennashi_dorei]

I tried to make today a good day. I went to therapy and then spent a bunch of time with my mother, but in the end, there is not really that much so great about my life. it's nice spending time with my mom, but i need a life outside of seeing her, and i don't have friends, which is of course upsetting me. Some random elder from my community just recommended violence earlier today, so I unfriended them, and my entire life is nothing but me being attacked again and again, waiting to get attacked again and again. I don't want to be alive.

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[sennashi_dorei]

my chest feels... i don't wanna say it feels bad. I am sad and upset, and my chest doesn't feel perfect, but it feels better than usual. I'm tired of people telling me that i'm supposed to be ok with having a life that i don't want. i have no idea why i am alive, every day is a nightmare. I am so tired of being alive, it definitely seems that everyone else is also tired of me being alive. i deserve friends, why is this happening?