It is just a little strange going to the arcade. Many of the machines there are Japanese, so, that is super fun. Sometimes I feel really weird that I really did live in Japan. It was my idea to do from very very long ago.. and well, I wanted to feel like I had earned it to go... but it still doesn't really feel like that at all. I went to school for international studies.. but I skipped high school! Well, I was home schooled for it anyway. So, going to Japan didn't really feel like I earned it, it just feels like a part of my story, a part of me. Like someone that moved around as a child: that was not me, I spent my whole childhood in the same town, I was suuuuper ready to go!!
I met some folks at the arcade today, and I did not talk about heart surgery at all. We exchanged contact info, and I avoided SM, because then I instantaneously come out as an HSR. I talk to my therapist about this kind of thing sometimes. They actually encourage me to be secretive about my HS lololol. I don't know.. do I make a specific social media that doesn't talk about it at all? I actually did that in the early days!! When I really had the surgery, I announced about it, and then talked slightly about recovery, but actually spent years not bringing it up on my social media at all. I was sincerely not interested in talking about it or thinking about it.
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momijizukamori
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