troubles with social media

I have problems, and I complain about them. Here on DW, my network is very small, so anything I say has very little chance of receiving any response, maybe even being read. I have a large group on one of the major social media platforms that I post on very regularly, but I feel like my group of individuals are not being supportive of what I'm saying, what my complaints are. About 10-15 years ago, I was living in Japan, and I didn't actually have many complaints, and I received lots of very nice interactions very regularly, it was dreamy - but I did have problems, simply I didn't talk about them, because I wanted my dreamy echo chamber, and my friends weren't in the medical field anyway, what could they do? Well, about 10 years ago now, I had a bicycle crash where I smashed my face into a concrete wall without a helmet on an electric bicycle which means high speed, so yeah I'm very dumb for not wearing a helmet. In recent times, I complain about my treatments dealing with mental health criminals, and one thing that is not being understood: I was literally given a seizure by a medicine that I was allergic to, and am regularly recommended to take that medicine when I am forcefully hospitalized. I always outcry that so much of this is about my heart: because I definitely still have health issues related to my chest.. but there are accounts in the past of people being attacked for their sexual orientation being different from the norm, and how can I confirm that this isn't just a continuation of that? And when I am hospitalized: most of the doctors in these facilities are not of American nationality, either. Myself personally, I am a doctors without borders sort of person. It's 2024, people should be moving around, especially with big important jobs.. but these are fake doctors, they are detaining people against their consent, and treating them like animals, and it is sometimes also American doctors. I'm so tired of constantly being in danger of just being taken away just because someone wants to, which actually has happened multiple times with no provocation at this point.

exercise!

I got a great 8,000 to 9,000 steps in today! Yesterday was a very bad health day, and I ended up getting hurt. I don't really feel comfortable talking about the details in public, but I want to remember/be reminded that it happened for my own medical documentation. I wish that I weren't being abused by hospital workers, so I felt more safe talking to them when I'm having medical problems.

Uncomfortable

Sometimes, I think I'm just uncomfortable with the passage of time itself. FOMO is a big thing these days, and you try to make the best selection you think you could make so that you won't have regrets later, but it's difficult! Resting often seems impossible: "But I don't know this!!!" So if I'm not studying or exercising, certainly it's a waste of time. And I'll never know exactly what I'm looking for, either.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow makes 20 years since my dad died. Social media is exhausting. I could make this post on my main social media page too, but I'm going to opt not to, if I can. Would I regret it if I said nothing at all? I think so, but I'll prefer to post it here instead of there for now. That website gets enough traffic, and I hate being the "this is what's wrong now" person.. so I'll let that be here, in small space.

I'm a little sad, and I guess I'm supposed to be. I'm also upset by all the other problems happening. Aim for perfection, but you never get it. Studying geometry has been fun. I gave myself time off from appropriate traditional studies when I was younger, telling myself I'd get around to them later, and here I am. Still convinced that the current school system might not be doing so great for young people. Maybe it works for some people, but I was glad to leave and go into home schooling, and I generally look back on it fondly, though sometimes I feel like maybe I missed out. Then it's more difficult to imagine, does the average person miss out on a good education through alternative schooling, and how do you even define alternative in that sense.

I'm sure I'll make a post tomorrow here, and just use it as a marker place, maybe say the same thing. I want to be brave enough to leave my major social network site and move on, like it's failing me. I hate major organizations and usually prefer smaller ones, so it's nice to convince myself I could completely migrate here: but major places usually are major for a reason: that application has a nice distribution of information that is very pleasant to sift through, maybe it's not worth leaving, I can't decide.