The issue with when things go well is the monotony of it. Folks love drama, which is probably why I get treated so badly, like I am the laughing stock of the human species. I am frustrated by this because it really does not make you good people for how I am being treated. At least today is going kind of ok, but it just doesn't feel like I have 生き甲斐.
Finally, an at least semi decent day in February. The last 2-3 days have been reeeeaaally bad. It is not fun being me. My health is a little better in that I am sort of feeling better, but my problems are too big, so i basically hate everyone i know, because everyone is asking too much of me. I am tired, and just doing a few things, and the biggest problems i have are finding no resolution, while some people are going out of their way to make my already nightmare of a life even worse. I really don't know why i'm alive, i'm not having a great time. Today was not bad over all, but I am tired of the never ending : "you don't get good times" actions from others. Sometimes I induce it on myself, but the things that have happened to me are real, and you not coming to terms with that is making my life worse.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-06 04:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-02-06 11:04 pm (UTC)