Saturday Night Blues
Oct. 5th, 2024 06:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sennashi_doreiAh yes, it certainly feels like I should go out and do something, with it being Saturday night, and myself being in the city. I remember back to my times 10 years ago, when I freshly returned to the city/country, and would regularly receive invites to events going on, and I would almost never go. My energy levels were depleted, and I did not want to people. I try to compare now to then, and tend to feel like I have more energy than I did then... I don't receive invites so much anymore, but given 10 years of not showing up, I guess that makes sense. A friend introduced me to a website where I could find various events going on, and I did find some. Though as soon as I see them, I'm uninspired to do such. I think it will be another lame night where I just go to bed early, feeling like I'm wasting away. I'm trying to get myself to go out and be social: but if someone doesn't have a job, what's the point? And if I did have a job, would I have even less energy? I didn't have problems going out from time to time in my 20s, living in Japan. It's like as soon as I got back, everything shifted, and it must certainly be about myself and not the location specifically. Certainly many things changed. Oh, I really desire to be social, and particularly, to be desired in social settings.
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Date: 2024-10-05 10:24 pm (UTC)As if I'm already dead: my energy levels feel like "why bother"? Ah well.
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Date: 2024-10-05 10:43 pm (UTC)I have not been using a lot of social media lately, mostly just this site, and I am not very good at being social on this site.
It feels like I need to place more effort into being social: but I have no idea what to do, to make it so. I'm not so interested in bars or whatever. Listening to music could be ok if the decibel level is alright, but I've often found that it is not. I partially want a job for social reasons: regular characters in my life, ah how nice. I miss working so much, but I can't just give all my time to applying endlessly, these folks have got to figure something out too.
I feel very lonely indeed, and I keep trying to message people, barely receiving responses. There is an easy solution in a streaming app, but some people there are very rude, and for whatever reason, my hiatus is still on-going. I feel like a very lame person: it would be so nice if someone just invited me to hang out in the evening. I guess I could say that I miss the bar in Gifu. Or Karaoke!!! I seriously miss some karaoke. I found some near by places that are doing karaoke tonight, but going by myself could be done, though is just not what I'm looking for.
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Date: 2024-10-05 11:16 pm (UTC)